Why Mummy Series by Gill Sims 4 Books Collection Set - Fiction - Paperback

Description

• Why Mummy Drinks It is Mummy's 39th birthday. She is staring down the barrel of a future full of people asking if she wants to come to their advanced yoga classes, and polite book clubs where everyone claims to be 'tiddly' after a glass of Pinot Grigio and says things like Oooh gosh, are you having another glass?' But Mummy does not want to go quietly into that good night of women with sensible haircuts who 'live for their children and stand in the playground trying to trump each other with their offspring's extracurricular activities and a 'achievements', and boasting about their latest holidays. Instead, she clutches a large glass of wine, muttering 'FM' over and over again. Until she remembers the gem of an idea she's had... Why Mummy Swears Welcome to Mummy’s world… The Boy Child Peter is connected to his iPad by an umbilical cord, The Girl Child Jane is desperate to make her fortune as an Instagram lifestyle influencer, while Daddy is constantly off on exotic business trips… Mummy’s marriage is feeling the strain, her kids are running wild and the house is steadily developing a forest of mould. Only Judgy, the Proud and Noble Terrier, remains loyal as always. Mummy has also found herself a new challenge, working for a hot new tech start-up. But not only is she worrying if, at forty-two, she could actually get up off a bean bag with dignity, she’s also somehow (accidentally) rebranded herself as a single party girl who works hard, plays hard and doesn’t have to run out when the nanny calls in sick. Can Mummy keep up the facade while keeping her family afloat? Can she really get away with wearing ‘comfy trousers’ to work? And, more importantly, can she find the time to pour herself a large G&T? Probably effing not. Why Mummy Doesn’t Give a ****! Mummy dreams of a quirky rural cottage with roses around the door and chatty chickens in the garden. But life, as ever, is not going quite as she planned. Paxo, Oxo, and Bisto turn out to be highly rambunctious, rather than merely chatty, and the roses have jaggy thorns. And now her precious moppets have transformed into giant teenagers. Instead of wittering at her about who would win in a fight
• a dragon badger or a ninja horse?
• they are Snapchatting the night away, stropping around the tiny cottage, and communicating exclusively in grunts. Can Mummy find that one happy moment just for her, now she has relocated her pelvic floor? And can she finally find a way to give zero f*cks? Why Mummy’s Sloshed Mummy has been a wife and mother for so long that she's a little bit lost. And despite her best efforts, her precious moppets still don't know the location of the laundry basket, the difference between being bored and being hungry, or that saying. I can't find it. Mummy is not the same as actually looking for it. Amid the chaos of A levels and driving tests, she's doing her best to keep her family afloat, even if everybody's set on drifting off in different directions and ignoring her most of the time. She's feeling overwhelmed and underappreciated. and the only thing that Mummy knows for sure is that the bigger the kids, the bigger the drink.